hey
well its well past 1am now and im blogging
these 2 days have been fun i guess haha
hanging out,and catching a movie.
just suddenly
i got the feeling of picking up my pen
and start writing again.
i still have my first piece of lyrics i wrote
stored deep within my file.
so long ago i started writing
i never showed it to anyone cuz i know it sounds crap...
haha sigh
my dream since so young to be in a band were crushed
to be a dancer was also crushed
yet i still find myself writing when im down
at times like this i wish i had a sibling
who i can share my music with
music has always been my life
my everything i can never pursue it
but i still love it.
i always envied those who get to perform on stage
cuz they could actually pursue their dream
but strip of their tittles,their looks
they are normal people like us with talents.
oh what i'd do to have talents.
i remember watching a music video of simple plan when i was 11
and went thats what i want to do.
i told myself when im 16 or 17 i'll be making music
but now 16,im nothing.
no talent.not good in anything.sucks at studying.sucks at maths.
being looked down,always alone,left alone.
my life seems different from what i imagined i guessed.
in short..most likely a failure.
i dont know how my life will continue from now on.
2 weeks from now it will be fixed.and i bet
i'll be the most biggest failure in the family.
think postive? HA. try to think positive when u are always a loner.
always alone in this small room.
always alone when nothings there to for you
always alone cuz u cant talk to anyone about stuffs cuz u feel so uncomfortable.
i think im half drunk lolz
typing this in the early morning.
i havent slept much these days,haha,reminiscing i guess.
5 years down the road,what would i be doing?
but i guess its nothing fabulous
cuz i was never lucky to start with.
i was always the last in everything
always alone everywhere
and i never felt close to anything before.
i felt lost
and i felt pain
so many worse things can happen in the next few years.
aish i think im really drunk
either that or im absent-mindly writing this
most probably when i look back at this post i'll think
what am i writing but yet im just lazy to delete.
well shall go sleep now.
just wanted to vent out my thoughts.
nites or rather good morning.
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