Monday, August 27, 2012

The Irony in life

The irony in life. Just as what my tittle says.
i want to rant out my thoughts but i cant possibily do it on twitter because it might be subjected to be a hinderance to my fellow followers.
at least here, i can rant out in just one post. 
So, a news from my dad just came in about my so called "grandfather". The last time i ever saw him in life was 5 or 6 or maybe when i was 4. i dont remember or maybe because i don't want to. As i grew up, i learnt the word 'hate'. I hated that man.
I hated that man who left my grandmother. I hated that man who eventually had 7 or 8 mistresses in his life. Every time i heard about him, my blood would boil. It was because of him my family never had peace. We get said and our names tarnished. It also caused a ruckus between my dad and his siblings. Not to mention the children or grandchildren he had. I always told myself, who knows, maybe that person in the same class with me with the same surname as me could be my long distant cousin.

When i heard of how his health turned to the worse i thought "oh the irony in life. Its karma" but then again the other half of me felt sad for him. Then just tonight, my uncle messaged my dad regarding this man's health. He seem to be suffering a lot and might not survive till the end of this month. My uncle then said to me along to visit this man.This man i barely knew, this man whos face i barely remember, this man who probably has more than 10 grandchildren. How can he remember me? He has only seen me twice. TWICE for christ sake! But then since my dad asked me to go, i said i will go after my exam. Im not going because i want to see this man whom im supposed to call "grandfather" or rather i'm going because im afraid of my dad. I am afraid he will get rejected and yelled at. So even though my mind is having a whole line thoughts, thoughts flashing in my head of the possible worse-case scenario, i am scared of how things will turn out tommorw when i see that man. 
Just when i thought life was awesome, this had to happen. I cant have my dad have another fall, i cant have him down on his knees again. im just worried for him. very worried.