sigh hows life? tiring
hows skool? i think im gonna fling it.
i have a feeling tat next year the place i am going to is not poly
sigh kinda giving up already
its tiring...somemore,studying is not my passion
so all the more does it feel like a burden then a joyful day.
this week was tiring, not sure why but yea
im always sleepy cuz i keep sleeping at 12 or 1 am.
yes 12 or 1 am is late for me
not to mention on weds morning da bloody rain woke me up -,-
i seriously think im totally flinging everything
and am just not gonna get anywhr in life.
sometimes i guess im just useless
taking up space only.
not to mention these days its just so complicating
how many years already...since then?
i still think about it. when something happens
i feel something. i shall call it jealousy.
and it sucks. i thought i have forgotten
but i have not. i guess i have to continue to hate as i always did.
sigh why cant i for once smile for a week in genuine?
i am just really really troubled and sad
i want to get away
i want to stop studying,being a student,
but once i stop what happens? i dont have a life.
i feel like the time in N lvls. at least last year i had a goal.go to sec 5. 19 points.
now!? nothing!! i dun noe whr to go,i don't know what to do
i really seriously think i am either gonna retain or end up somewhr i dun want to
seriously why does everyone seem to have it easy?
i tell myself i have to do it, i study, but no matter how i study i still fling it!
its irritating! not enough practice,not enough reading they might say
but im sick of it all!
this week, i managed to walk home twice and cleared my mind
the sky was so blue and beautiful
for that few minutes nothing was on my mind.
i smiled like a mad person walking home under the hot sun
but looking at the sky made me a free person.
by walking home along i felt at peace
i didnt have to think about what would happen, what needs to be done
what my actions will bring.
i wish for a better day everyday. a day i would stop hurting, a day i can
overcme my thoughts and fears. a day i can be free.