Monday, January 30, 2012


okkayy its 30th jan today
means posting results were out :/
it came at 6 in the ridiculous is that? lolz. i had my ringtone on
but i didnt wake up...
can i say i was disappointed in my posting results?
i would've loved to go into my first choice,
but getting into my first choice is like getting out of a fight without being hurt at all.
so yeah i got posted to my second choice...
its at RP...hopefully its okay.
anyways i started to get scared instead of of happy :/
cuz i realised that im an introvert and my course needed me to be an extrovert
since its under 'communications'.
but i cant even talk to the class without stuttering
and i remember i practically rapped through my speech on stage in front of the school.
so yeah...i wonder how am i gonna survive this whole um..ordeal?
well i shall try my best and will hope everything will be fine

oh yeah half the people i know actually went into the same skool as me ROFL!
so yeah...yay me! i wont be awkward on my 1st day...i hope...
at least i have someone to lunch with...rittteeee? ritttteee?
but so far i have not found anyone who is in the same course as me :/
so yeah as for course wise, i think im gonna be alone ._.
im not good at socializing...dear me...sigh.

anyways...tmrw going ECP ^^
but im sad cuz 2 of my friends cant go...
to one of my friend, my dear green owl, jia yous! dont ever give up.
die also must appeal. i will be waiting for you to be in the same school as me :)
maybe we can go to the toilet together on da first day of school
like how we met 5 years ago haha!
a story of making a close friend i will never forget..i mean of all places of making frens,
i made a friend while waiting for the awesome is that rofl..JOKING

oh yea so havent done much these days, just cleaning and washing stuff.
oh! also i got to catch a few movies over 2 days. lets see over saturday and sunday,
i watched
Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows (part 2), The Green Hornet, Captain America,
The Green Lantern and Pirates Of The Carribean: On Stronger Tides
i liked all except the green hornet, i personally think it was crap.
was it an action film or a film to teach kids new swear words i dont know..
BUT i really really enjoyed pirates of the carribean. Even over 4 movies,
it has not yet failed me yet *cough* potter *cough*
ok i was a little disappointed in harry potter cuz the fight scene between voldermort
and harry was twisted and totally different from the book.. but it was still good.

so yeah thats what i did for my weekends.
what did you do?
you are free to tell me too heh heh
well adidos chingus~~
mozster out ;P

Tuesday, January 24, 2012


haha happy chinese new year!!
yeah though its already 初二/day 2, i think its okay to still wish everyone
to have a prosperous new year ^^
so,i have been busy with the preparations for CNY so i hardly had anytime to
post anything here.
22nd was the renunion dinner and gosh everything was a rush
i woke up around 8 and finished preparing around 2...thats how long it took
my aunt and her family came around 4pm and she really helped us alot
ever since she heard my mom's injury she really truly helped us alot
i cant thank her enough.
not to mention, she bought me 2 shirts (#o~o#)
they went home around 11.30pm...yeah that late.
(Reunion dinner huhu~~ totally stuffed that day)
(the beautiful Yu Sheng...ah ha!! the salmon was yummy)

on the 23rd, nothing much woke up at 10 cuz i had to go to the temple.
cuz of the dinner the night before,we skipped breakfast
and headed to the temple,not before leaving some food in my grandma's fridge.
she seems to be coming back earlier from china cuz she cannot stand the coldness there.
i talked to her the night before (thank god for technology) and she said it was really boring there
no shopping mall..nothing. (well what can u expect from a place far off the city and near
korea? )and i think she caught a flu..sigh.i told her to bring more clothes and she refused.
when she gets back,im so bringing her to the doctors even if she refuses.

ANYWAYS after praying for the new year we headed off to find lunch.
sadly, the restaurant i wanted to eat at was closed (well an idiot would know better that
a chinese restaurant would be closed on day 1 of CNY) so my parents just discussed on
where to go. i seriously thought they were joking when they said lets eat at carlton hotel.
but in 10minutes i found myself sitting in a chair eating at the hotel (-,=)
well,it was a high tea session so like a mini buffet and well,i was really stuffed,
i skipped dinner as when i reached home i practically crumbled on my bed.
the exhaustion from the day before was there on top of that so yeah. slept till like 8
and read my book till 10.30 after that.
around 12.40 i started to munch on cup noodles..lolz.if it wasnt for my ulcer i can probably
have eaten more :(

24th, as for today i practically did nothing.
i woke up at 12.20pm after sleeping at 3.30am lolz...i realised i can really sleep alot..keke
watched pink panther 2 that was on channel 5..after that continued reading IQ84.
im actually impressed with the book. honestly speaking murakami's books had
been a disappointment to me.
i read 2 of his books which are norwegian wood and kafka on the shore.
i must say the way he writes is really unique and the expressions he use is different from
other japanese writers. i always cant seem to figure what genre the book is under.
like for kafka on the shore, was it a romance or mystery? i still cant decide.
however for IQ84, the plot is interesting and though im halfway through book 1 (it has till book 3)
im keen to keep on reading unlike the other two. i realised his writing in this book is really interesting and unique.
(IQ84 and phone rofl..why didnt i think of removing my phone before taking this..)

okay.i've wrote enough i guess haha...too long for it to be just a 'post' keke.
(Pabo Boys were on Teens!!! haha i was so happy! i really wanna
go for their 2nd invasion tour in japan :[ )
(some drawing i did..i have no idea what it was...i thought of drawing a person
then changed my mind and then a gun then changed my mind and it ended up like
this...ahh my drawing skill is failing...)

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Days that just zooms pass.

Well hello,
so i was bored today so i re-vamped my blog ^^
from the background pictures to the songs i have dont it all!
i feel really proud of myself now haha.
well after blog-hopping just now,
i realised,i should seriously write in grammatical sentances even if its a blog.
after attending secondary school for 5 years
i have somehow mixed english with chinese and singlish.
*cough*blame for my steep drop of english*cough*
however thanks to attending a public school in secondary
my chinese has improved
i got a freaking C5 (a pass) in chinese O levels!
it is over-achieving, considering the fact i am not from a perfect
chinese speaking family.
i am most proud of that.. a pass based on O level standards. :D

Ok back to this, nothing much has been on but went to the hospital today.
the CT scan room was actually on the same floor as the operation room and the wards,
so i got the creeps just by walking down the corridors though it is broad daylight.
the nurse was also shocked when my mother told her its been 3 weeks since she
broke her arm and have no yet done her operation.
you see 'professional doctors' even the nurses were surprised
so i hope on tuesday you can finally decide the date for the operation.
i am very angry at the way they work. i really hope this gets over and done with.

well,since its almost 2 here,i shall go to sleep.
the normal routine again tommorow~~ sighh (._.)

well nites...or good morrrrrrninggg~~ keke ^^

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Another of those days..

eeeheee hiii~~
im baaaccckk~~
so i finished choosing my courses and i pray hard i can go into my 1st choice.
anyways these days i've just been cooped up at home
no just worried for my mother
hopefully,the doctors will quickly wrap it up and do the operation faster.
i can bear to see my mom in pain and mentally unprepared for things.
thats why i dont dare to tell her nor my dad the pain in my arm is acting up again.
its already been a week since my elbow started to hurt again, it could've been cuz it started
to rain and the weather's been cold,it started to hurt again.
its been 9 years, so hopefully, after my mum settles her shoulder
i probably wld go to a clinic for an x-ray. of course i wont tell them.
i dont want them to worry so much. plus i just want to know if my elbow's alright
whats the big deal rite?
so hopefully by next month, everythings settled and i can go see a doc :/
anyways some pic spam again ha ha ^^
till next time :D

(really feel like going to see them :/ ive been wanting to since i was 11
but i dont know...sigh..nobody to go with :[ )
(today's evening sky...i think it was beautiful)
(it was one of those beautiful evenings..i think it was last month)
(oh yeah i drew this during Os when i gt tired of studying for physics -.=)
(the dinner i cooked tonight)
(taken when my hair was actually brown...sigh..i wanted a brighter colour :/
i think it came off now...not too sure)

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Well,hi. I'm munching on a slice of cheese while writin this.
Lolz random eh?
So guess what I got my results :/
Ahh sigh,I didn't really have much reaction to it,
But suddenly just now it's like my senses came back to me
BAM I started to feel the reality.
I can't go to da course I really wanted
I mean my cut off point didn't make it,bt I was still eligible
How whacked is that? I dont know
Bt aft I highlighted,I cld only go to republic and a few
Random course frm NYP,SP,Ngee Ann blah blah blah
But seriously I don't know what to choose anymore
I'm like at lost.
I can go into a course similar to what I wanted in RP,
Yet many recommend not to go RP
I can go into a course in NYP I have little interest in
I'm utterly confused.
Thn at this hour,it's like no one's there I can talk to :/
Confused ttm

Also,I feel that I let down my parents :/
Being the only child,I'm the only kid they can kinda
Be proud off.
I feel bad they can't be proud of this one child.
I am always sorry that I let them down in everything I do
Yet they treat me so well
My mother still cld joke and said she expected worse
And if I ha somewhr to go to its fine
But still,I'm sorry mom,I'm sorry dad to always let you down
For not being the smart kid,for not getting distinctions
And be a child u can show off to people
Sorry for being the oldest and the black sheep of the whole family.
I can foresee my niece scoring better then me in 12 yrs time :/
Sigh,so,I'm sorry.

Ahh well what to do?what's done is done
But I still am very disappointed.
I really REALLY studied hard this time!!
My science oh my gosh my disappointment cannot be said
In words for it.
Thinking about it now makes me cry
I really studied full force on it! Like really hard
And I get a 6. Seriously. Why? I don't understand.
And my humanes. Omg another fcked up mistake
I got a four...I was expecting like a 3 at least
And I got a miserable 4. It's really not me.
Not to mention my English. Sigh. At least I didn't get
A 4 which I expected, bt an A would have been nice :/
But I was most shocked at my Amaths.
I passed my Amaths 0.0 like a C5
Me? Who failed every Amaths test,
Me who got a 'U' for every test got a C-friggin-5
Unbelievable rite?
So this shows, even of ur weak just do the paper fun expect much
But Tats only for Amaths for me :/
I think they switched my Amaths and science result..

Sigh. Ok I shld end it here
Have to wake up early tmrw
A truckload of house chores waitin for me
I shall re-think again tmrw
I got till Friday anyways :/
Well nites...

Friday, January 6, 2012

Everything, every pain I keep it within myself
Today I finally realized I'm truly alone.
I wonder if it is my characteristic to get depressed easily
To feel that no one is there for me
But in truth,no one is really there for me
I was born alone,and have always been alone.
When I wake up,when I eat, when I go out these days,
I'm always all alone.
It seems like I have only myself to lean on
I have no one else.
My only outlet of relief is seen by the scar on my arm
I have stopped tat habit for many yrs now
Bt I'm itching to start again after things started to crash arnd me
I can't find the will to stay
I give them strength,
But who will give me one.
I'm really confused
And the lines are blur
I just hope good things will come soon,
If not I see no will to stay arnd.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Visual Post

hi hi!!
well today's gonna be a long visual post lolz..
i've been wanting to post pics bt ive been too lazy to do so.hehe.
It'll be a mixture of last year and this year...haha~~

(So yeah im studying hard for my jap now..grammer sighh *>*)
(i cleared all my worksheets and now my books all lay here...whoot ^^)
(the mac i hung out for the past 6 weeks.nobody every morn)
(the road i walked to work,i enjoyed it very much)
(Xmas lights~~)
(the café we all visited.TomsNToms Coffee.i must say da cappuccino was not bad)
(and again rofl...)
(Xmas lights...i almost died on the day this pic was taken.Orchard was terrible)
(was walking wif ker when floats passed by...cant see though :( )

(cute wittle santa candy...which i ate 4 hrs aft it was given.ended work and cant possibly
hold it all the way home can i?)
(my xmas buffet yum yum ^^)
(oh yeah one day on my way home i took a ghost bus..lolz..6.30 and nobody on.eerie)
(treated mommzie to starbucks~~)
(moms company was buffet..lolz..sadly couldnt eat much :?)

(jjang restaurant again)
(the cute wittle monkey that looks like tae-il from block b :/)
(just re-arranged my comics and of course a new year=a new poster)
(busy night...rofl~~)
(got this as a xmas present frm my still amazed it sticks.)

done wif pic time i'll blog probably be when i get my results..
ahh well hu knows,i might just drop some stuffs since im not working anymore..sadly.
ok ok i shall head to bed too...already 2am keke..

Monday, January 2, 2012


hi hi
unfortunately i was unable to post on the 1st day of the new year :{
i was also unable to post on the end of the new year....
ahh well who cares keke
im posting at 12am on da 2nd of January of 2012

so i finally ended my work and lets just say i have alot of mixed feelings.
im gonna miss all my colleagues there. seriously.
the things they have done for me during christmas was really touching
i feel really bad not giving anything back to them.
every morning i would sit in the macdonalds there
occasionally i see cute guys sitting there eating mac,
on other days im sitting with invisible people. its peaceful.
the only downside was the 1 hr rides to and from my workplace.
i wont complain about the ride back cuz i think its awesome
but mornings are terrible.
i woke up at 6am just to go to work =.=

as 2011 came to an end many incidents happened.
very bad,terrible incidents. this forced me to wake up at 5.30am
and doubledmy house chores,not that im complaining
its just im not used to it so im a bit tired about it.
sigh. i seriously wonder why unfortunate things keep befalling around me.
then this afternoon, there was news that a 7.0 magnitude hit the coast of japan
and tokyo shook quite badly.
i sad and shocked at the news. i mean its the first of january!!
cant god spare them at least the new year!?
i dont understand. im starting to believe less in god,buddha or any religious beings.
whenever i pray to them, it happens in the opposite.
tell me why i should keep believing in them.
will they give me strength? no.
will they get me through the pain? i believe not.
till now music is the only one that saved me.

ok since its the new year im gonna stop my rants....
i want a happy post.


#1. To.Be.More.Girly.or basically act/dress like a girl,be more feminine?
yea yea same as every year,yet i failed to do so every year...
i dont know. short shorts irk me, skirts make me puke and dresses makes me hurl.
so um...i really dont know when i will overcome this resolution.
but hey im making progresses rite? i mean i used to wear baggy jeans and shorts
now i prefer skinny jeans...thats.good.right?'
MOVING ON!! image
#2. To.Take.JLPT.N5.
yes. i want to take an exam. fo real. since things happened and i cant work anymore
i decided to focus on my japanese. im gonna go full force and study it like i did for chinese.
im a half! why waste my special ability right? i mean ok if i couldnt speak then maybe
i would think twice,but i can. so, if i just learn how to read and write,it'll be okay!
and also, i want to take the test so at least i could be something i want to be in the future.
an english teacher in japan :)

i kinda told myself this. ( this is IF the world dosent end this year...hopefully it dosent,but seeing
the weather patterns and many causalities im starting to be worried bout it)
20 years i will stay in singapore,another 20 i shall spend in japan,da rest of my life i will stay
somewhr else...lolz..lets see whr i end up then...

#3 To.Drink.
YES! IM 18!!! i can drink awesome is that.. i seriously cant wait for my birthday. im gonna go buy some and drink keke.

#4. To.Continue.Learning.To.Play.Guitar
im slowly improving but of course i need more practice...i need to at least be able to play one
musical instrument dont i...lolz..

#5. To.Be.Fitter.
yeahh one of my new year resolution. im not gonna say to be skinner cuz i doubt i will be.
i just want to stick to my exercise routine this year,cuz i always stick to it for 2 months and then
i stop :/ so yeah. stick to my exercise routine and be fitter..i want 'em lines on my tummy!!
(of course not 6...1 is enough .__.)

#6 To.Go.To.Japan.
seriously i really really reaaaaaallly wanna go. i need to go. by the end of this year especially.
i dont know why but there is always a reason when i suddenly have the urge of wanting to go.
like the other time in 2009,one day in june i suddenly had flashbacks and was keen of going to japan. i kept pestering my parents to bring me for the june hols. bt they were like after Os etc etc. then it happened. my grandmother passed away. thats why i dont know. i just feel that i
want to go,but im really not looking forward to whats gonna happen. im just going to pray sincerely that everyone will be safe from harm.

ok. so yeah a short new year resolution but yeah haha...i can always restart from CNY
ok then i shall bid farewell and go back to my vids ^^
nites lovelies. LETS ALL PARTY!!!

P.S in reality im just doing this
the exact same pose. like seriously..rofl.