Friday, December 31, 2010

GOODBYE~~ 2010,HELLO 2011~~

well im blogging..
why? i always do this on the last day of the year
so i must do it this year too..
well before i go on
let me write some reflection of what i did this year.
what i accomplished, what i felt sad about.

1.the starting of the year was a very rocky start, not even a few days
after the year turned, i lost someone close to my heart already.
i was pretty depressed about it. i still remember clearly
school just started, it was after skool i was happily laughing going home
when i received an sms...its pretty cruel. knowing someone passed away via sms
but i guess if she called me i wouldve just broke down infront of everyone and i didnt
want that. that was just plain harsh. i had just recovered from my other sad state
not 2 months back and just like that i was on the plane to japan for abt 1 week.
yes yes i said i had swine flu..that cuz i did not want anyone to know i went to japan.
for the next 3 months, just by hearing the word japan i would tear.
now at night i still think about them, during those stressful times i also thought of them.
however im better now and i guess at times i forgot my pain cuz the people in class
made me laugh :] by the time i returned to skool, i cried so much that i had no more
tears to cry.

2.the next most impacting thing was most probably my coursework...
i think i almost died doing it. i really put my heart into it but i got four for it *tch*
i guess its not pretty for others. but to me, its gorgeous..i like it.
i might even think of taking it back home..hey, i paid for that bloody canvas
its my property anyways. if people think it sucks then i might as well put it at home.
i love it. it has my sweat and blood in it. blood literally.
i remember i stayed in skool until 8..
haha i really slacked alot.
then during june holidays, i would do and do and do, paint and paint and paint
that corner of that art room became 2nd house. like literally. yea. not taking art every again.

3.of course i have to talk about N levels right? haha. well it was a stressful period
but i dont remember studying. isnt it weird?
i remember i didnt study for my SS and history, i was practically panicking
that day cuz nothing could go in! however i managed to do the paper.
the 'intensive' period was more like slacking period and i loved maths lessons
for the first time. why? cuz maths was so easy! haha. i almost killed myself
doing amaths, i slept during english..come on was boring!
for chinese? hmm i was half awake the class was pretty noisy
and i never learnt anything. hence i got a shock when i got three for it.
and merit for oral..yayz!
well i think i really paid attention in class for SS and history cuz it paid off,
i didnt study like a maniac like others but i still clinched a two..happy wif it.
i thought i would get a five or four =.=
english, super surprised, i thought cambridge was strict?
combined science..was kinda sad. i guess they moderated that paper right?
sigh chemistry...i feel so bad for my chem teacher..i remember one weekend
i went there asked all the questions in one go. i managed to do my paper!!
but then this marks =.=" super disappointed wif it.
so yeah in total my N level results was super shocking...for the first time in my life
i was proud of myself. who cares about those awards u get at CC or in skool.
i got friggin good points! and im proud of happy i did my parents proud too.
especially my he can go around showing off my results haha..even though its 'N'
im not those 'born then smart' kinda kid so yea.

3.i guess the last hightlight of the year was the JYJ this was a real miracle.
me and ker experienced a miracle for the first time in our life.
we wanted JYJ to come and they came. we were excited. but when we saw the prices
for the tickets, our face fell, we could afford the cheapest one, however the ticket selling
was during our N levels so,yeah, we cant possibly ditch our national exam for a ticket.
so we were really sad. after the exam we heard it was still selling but it was DAMN ex.
we can certainly NOT afford it. so we were on the verge of giving up. but really did
not want to, cuz this was 3 guys from our fave group! so we tried radio station but failed
then finally i came across twitter selling ticks and tried it.
AND WE GOT IT! man we were so excited. we went and we had the time of our lives.
when we reached there, we totally felt under-dressed la.haha.everyone wore so nice nice.
we wore as if we were going bugis or something haha.ANYWAYS....
i still remember...haha i bet ker still remembers too. man we were so elated about it.
even after the showcase was over we were still shaking. i mean we just saw 3 of our idols~!!
haha yeah i still remember ker saw the video of yoochun and say he look like her mum
haha.must go her house one day see yoochun then haha..~~

well i guess thats about it, for the holidays i spent my days was good experience
and i had a really good rest.

now this is really gonna be a long post so bear with me. cuz its the last post of the year
and well there was alot of 'Happening' things haha.

now my next year resolution i guess? or maybe not resolution
but things i want to do and stuff..wait..thats a resolution..ahh well. more like a girl.every year this resolution comes first.yet i can never
accomplish it.heh. able to see dbsk as 5? hopefully..hopefully 2011 they can be together
or at the least, let the courtcase be over peacefully and not let cassies or the boys
shed anymore tears.
3.'O' levels...i have to someting about this major exam i guess..haha..cant slack
like i did for N...must put my heart.mind.soul. wait,that sounds familiar...
4.hmm i think i have nothing else..not be depressed?
2010 was a rather depressing year for me so yea i hope 2011 will go well.
5.oh yeah GET RID OF ART! this i can so not taking art
next year..
6.hmm maybe get a bike like finally, and cycle.
7. oh yea after exam, im so dying my hair light parents already gave me
the green sign anyways..their kinda sad im dying back my hair black. i am too
so when i go back skool, i'll have jet black hair...kekeke. artificial black.
i wonder how i look like in black hair? i completely forgot.
8.of course after Os, i wanna go sentosa!! like really go!!!

so yeap.thats my resolution i guess..nothing much cuz i know some cant be accomplished
so yea.
hmm ok then im gonna go
tmrw is 1st of 2011, and i wish u all a blessed year ahead.
we are turning 17 next year and are really gonna be the senior of the senior
of our skool :D
dying my hair to black on sunday :[ so if on tuesday i look weird, its ok haha.
some people say its REALLY obvious,some say its not.
gah hu cares. im just gonna dye black.lolz.
well then, goodbye :D
and goodbye to 2010~~

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

my daily photo compilation part 2

my midnight snack~~
the IR from a driver's p.o.v of course im not driving pshft
my christmas present to my mum..she was WAY too overjoyed for her age
i saw super junior in sheng shiong!!! well not literally but here's proof :D
i like the colour but not the drink..haha
blue cocktail~~
my christmas dinner :D
this bottle is made up of glass!! it was nice to drink frm it
heh cant find it in singapore nowadays
beautiful chocolate rite?!? i have like BIG BIG box of them stuffed in the fridge


compilation of daily photos part 1

ok so
these are the pictures i wanted to post on twitter
however my laptop crashed
and my parents kept using the other 2
so the pics kept delaying..and delayed.
this is why i want a blackberry or android phone!!
next year next year...then i wont need da com heh.
so ya today theres gonna be a few photos of this
cuz i need to delete for more space heh~~
so yeah!
here it is my photo blog..
its really not taken well but heh, it brightens up my blog.

(i had to drink this yesterday..gosh it was so awful..i hate having stomach pain)
ohh tang yuan i made :D)
(the tang yuan before its cooked)
(lolz..the pink dough)
(my christmas present!)
(someone turn
yogi bear slurpee!! and someone's leg meh~~)
(like so quiet right? haha)

(taken while driving on the road lolz..well of course i wasnt the one driving pft)

Friday, December 24, 2010

A christmas rush

hey !
im here to blog haha
so rare..again
well today morning woke up groggily
did my house chores as usual.

then i started finding people to go out.
i wanted i called people..
in the end i went to meet my old pri skool friend.
we went to IMM...looked around
and well i got contacts..
i got it, but then i put it till so hard...dun wan put liao =..=
so i guess im gonna leave it till expire..
cuz i mean my mom dosent even know i bought it la.
and i think after i try so many times that lens either scratch
or very dirty even though i washed it so many times.
well i always said i wanted to try it.
so now i try le, im satisfied..not touching it ever again.
thought i wanted to see how it look like when wear la..

after that went to get my assement books,
i asked my friend bad :D
she took her Os this year so at least can help me choose assement.
come to think of it i have to start tution soon..sigh.sian.
i just hope for less then 19 points next year lolz.
then at least all fail can go higher nitec..loolz!
anyways. so this has been my day..
now my eye feels dry so imma go put eye drops..
oh ya i bought my parents christmas presents
people were like staring at me wud i was carrying la!

hee having christmas dinner tmrw
and my grandma's coming over
im so happy :D
hee~~ go out buy groceries first though
maybe i'll help my mom tmrw..haha!!

well ok then
shall write again soon..

Friday, December 17, 2010

well i got my marks back...
zomg la, when receiving i was like so nervous
ok la i was really shocked when i got the paper la..
like damn BIG BIG shock..i didnt know what to feel
happy or sad or something..i was like all feelings bunched up together
seriously... i mean i really really didnt expect the marks i got
i dun even think i deserve it... was weird how i worried many parents, my grandmother,
my grandmother was the person next to my dad who was so worried for me
she even tell my dad not to scold me..i just love her too much
when i told her my marks she was so happy..haha

well when i got my results, i called my dad cuz i couldnt reach my mum
wah that really pissed me off..i wanted to tell my mum cannot.. i got pissed.
but when i managed to reach her, i couldnt help but cry..
she told me, that she prayed to my grandparents in the morning
even though they are not alive, they are watching from above.
just like that, i couldnt stop my tears from flowing and just ran to the toilet
i think i looked like a fool running like that..damn pai seh sia
especially in front of the guys...
but i couldnt let anyone see me cry..i hate that..

soo hmm i kinda like passed everything so its okay...
most proud of my maths and english...
most disappointed in my science and art! so sad la my art
never gonna do it!!
my chinese oral..heh heh merit seh~~

after the result wait for lydia they all finish take pic then
go off..then my friend call me
she was very sad, so i told her to meet up
and hence went to meet up with her
she seems okay when i met her
and she joked with me..lolz
so i guess that was okay.
i hope she will stay strong in whatever decision she make
and whatever she does, i'll always support her.

so i guess this has been my day.
my life in secondary preparing for N has come to an end
and next year i guess im studying for O?
well another year of hell..thats all i can think

to those who may not have gotten the marks you want,
dont think like that. this is just an exam
i told myself before as well, that this was the end,
but come to think, this was not. even i got the marks i tot i would
i would have just cried and moved on.
move on to become a better person.
so dont ever think of giving up. even if i didnt do well
i would think this..
im not being snobbish or anything.
im saying, dont ever give up, have just a really really little faith
and you can make it..
and always smile.
smile and u will be fine.
sometimes, the future is made out for us, we just dont know what.
and how it works.

well, im gonna go
yes im happy. or rather im glad.
im glad i didnt have to disappoint my father once again
and i could now happily tell my grandparents up there
i did well, and im smiling now. and thank you for watching over me.
i miss you 2 so much. one day im gonna go to japan
and pay my respects personally, in front of you 2.
and thank you.

sigh.ok then, im really gonna go..lolz..picture spazz tmrw :D

Thursday, December 16, 2010


well im gonna do a picture post
since im lazy and kinda depressed to do a proper one..
its pictures i take everday..very normal stuff..lolz..
(my current table filled wif com. 1 for music,1 for surfing da net lolz.)
(my snack and DVD i enjoyed on friday..took me only 1 day to watch finish :D)
(my mickey cup :DDD)
(oh yea...JYJ on a jap mag..kinda not inverted..lolz)
(how hard it rained..when was this? this was when i was mobbed by killer people.)
(a very nice sunday)
(i have no idea what this is)
(fruit juice..or veggie juice? its delicious :D)
(someone just dosent like SJ...)

well gonna end my EPIC picture scam here
maybe i will continue when my phone is in a good condition like this..hehe
till then..ta-ta

oh yea tmrw is result day..
dun wanna think abt it
but i guess i will be crying...very badly
cuz i know i did, kinda no no ..quite badly...
sigh...well how the future wants me to go,i shall go.
i just wish i can go up next year and make my dad proud for once.
i dont want to disappoint him again..that face, the way he did not talk to me
when i got my PSLE results, but after that smile to me, and tell me to try harder.
i dun wan that to happen again..i told him
if i cant make it into sec 5, i dun wanna retain.i'll just go to the other skool.
he just said..sure. know what you are doing. however i really really
want to make it this time.
i should have thought about this when i was doing my papers.
now its marked, graded, sent back, calculated, i cant change anything.
past is a haze,leaving the future in the unknown.

well im gonna go before i get depressed again just by thinking..

Monday, December 13, 2010

almost christmas soon..CHRISTMAS SPECIAL :D

hey well nothing to post
and i can see my tagboard is being spammed by stuffs
but oh well, my blog's seems so dead.
i wanted to do photo post
but it seems that my phone dosent want to agree wif me..
soo,, i shall do a christmas special
like i do every year :D
but this year, it includes different languages..haha
yea cuz im kinda into korean music now cuz english music really aint grabbing my attention..

nice? heh, next of course my other fav band....MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE may seem that its the same as last year~~ however.....NEXT~~!! OF COURSE i wont forget my current fav boyband TVXQ :D

ok the next one is again from korean fav DBSK and the other group is super junior
i bet all super junior or dbsk fans would have come across this vid..i like it live but it wasnt clear

Sadly for the next vid i cant find the full song for you guys but i think it was cute :D

well the last vid for my christmas special would be...... TRAIN :D SHAKE UP CHRISTMAS
i was watching MTV and saw this vid...and well its different from the other vids so of course i would post it up here~~

WELL~~ hope these songs would get you all in a festive mood somehow
i'll be posting more to come...cuz hey!! CHRISTMAS IS COMING SOON
so take out yo wish list and think of what u wanna get.
however remember CHRISTMAS is a season of GIVNG from all you heart
and not receiving. giving a gift is what counts. it might make your day as well :D

well i shall go off now...gonna be bored again haha~~

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

memories just keep flooding

im enjoying myself cuz this online radio station is playing
DBSK songs for abt an hour now..haha
so awesome!!

now its doing love in the ice...
when i hear this song i cant help but remember some stuffs..
when i lost my grandfather, i remember hearing this song
on the airplane to japan cuz it was the only song i liked from the whole
list of mirotic i like all the songs though haha
i listened to this song like a 100 times..
until i landed there and had to hand back my headphones.i cant help but
think about those days at times.
i miss my cousin there.hes so cute. i think cuz i dun have any boy cousins here..
but we were really close while i was there..haha.
oh and there was that dog...haha..kept barking and barking..
and when i rub its belly it squirms arnd..hee..cute one.
then my older cousins..
its kinda sad how now after my grandparents passed away
contact with them also moved away.
my mom dosent want to go back thr..
she say go japan also is to go hokkaido etc.
so if i want to go arnd there,i guess i have to save money
and go myself..
oh man seriously.
all i wish for christmas is a ticket...single the best, to go to japan.
i wanna go there'll be peaceful,and i'll have time to slowly look
at my other half country.
people might think i go there every year cuz im a half.
but their my whole life,
the trip i remember going to japan is only 3 times.
i only saw my grandparents there twice.
this morning
i found a christmas card,they sent every year.
and one line just made me cry so badly.
it wrote "come to japan to visit when you are older"
i remember when i was 12 when i went there
they told my parents to send me to japan alone and to stay
there a while. i wish they did.
i really that i could seen them face to face more.
their smiles more.

10 years time...
10 years time,i hope i'll be working and have enough money to go there.
to explore my other half's culture.

well shall go off now
dbsk is playing so happy thoughts should come now..
but then im still crying..sigh.
i wish i could meet my grandparents again.though it wont be possible..sigh.
hmm their playing dangerous minds by dbsk
nice song :D i wanna meet them too.
the only boyband i ever kinda be very very into...haha...
but impossible to meet them...
im not senseless ok,i have brains.

well i shall go now..go sleep
before they find out i am crying.
i hate people seeing me when im in my weakest...

Sunday, December 5, 2010

lifes like that.unfair.unplanned.undistinguishable.

well its well past 1am now and im blogging
these 2 days have been fun i guess haha
hanging out,and catching a movie.

just suddenly
i got the feeling of picking up my pen
and start writing again.
i still have my first piece of lyrics i wrote
stored deep within my file.
so long ago i started writing
i never showed it to anyone cuz i know it sounds crap...
haha sigh
my dream since so young to be in a band were crushed
to be a dancer was also crushed
yet i still find myself writing when im down
at times like this i wish i had a sibling
who i can share my music with
music has always been my life
my everything i can never pursue it
but i still love it.
i always envied those who get to perform on stage
cuz they could actually pursue their dream
but strip of their tittles,their looks
they are normal people like us with talents.
oh what i'd do to have talents.
i remember watching a music video of simple plan when i was 11
and went thats what i want to do.
i told myself when im 16 or 17 i'll be making music
but now 16,im nothing.
no talent.not good in at at maths.
being looked down,always alone,left alone.
my life seems different from what i imagined i guessed.
in short..most likely a failure.
i dont know how my life will continue from now on.
2 weeks from now it will be fixed.and i bet
i'll be the most biggest failure in the family.
think postive? HA. try to think positive when u are always a loner.
always alone in this small room.
always alone when nothings there to for you
always alone cuz u cant talk to anyone about stuffs cuz u feel so uncomfortable.

i think im half drunk lolz
typing this in the early morning.
i havent slept much these days,haha,reminiscing i guess.
5 years down the road,what would i be doing?
but i guess its nothing fabulous
cuz i was never lucky to start with.
i was always the last in everything
always alone everywhere
and i never felt close to anything before.
i felt lost
and i felt pain
so many worse things can happen in the next few years.

aish i think im really drunk
either that or im absent-mindly writing this
most probably when i look back at this post i'll think
what am i writing but yet im just lazy to delete.
well shall go sleep now.
just wanted to vent out my thoughts.

nites or rather good morning.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

an"almost fell up the escalator thanks to a fanmeet" account

back here today lolz..

wah super pissed sia!!
yea i said this like on twitter and on facebook and now on my blog.
well lets just say im damn pissd and that
im writing details here..
jeez if it was one of the gods of the rising east i wouldnt mind
but it wasnt so...yea
its not any fan account
i think its more like "almost being squashed" account

so as usual, today was work had to go to tampines
i badly wanted to send town area cuz i wanted to see someone..lolz
but ok now that i almost saw one..i wish i didnt.
so i went to tampines mall.raining damn bad
rushed arnd cuz well i was really in rush
i wanted the job done before it rained harder
delivery is very hard in the rain.and i seriously hope
people understands that. how do u get ur stuffs from ur fav store huh?
how do people transport ur fav food to the places from the warehouse?
delivery right? so appreciate these people.
they do things to make life easier.

so i sent the stuffs to the shops on the 2nd floor and i wanted to finish the whole mall, but when i went down it was crowded lie zomg
so i no choice went to another mall first.(theres like 3 malls in tampines.stuck together)
came back,the crowd was still there..i at first tot it was some sales
then as i walked nearer people were holding cameras.
i was like wth..of all times now then come...i was damn pissed off..
i mean IM RUSHING!!HELLO!! then so no choice i squeezed
cuz i debated to take the lift..but lift also i didnt whr it was at.
and i didnt want to waste time lking for it.
so as i squeezed,people screamed in my HELLO!!
SCREAM ALSO HE/THEM WONT KNOW ITS YOU!! scream somewhere like open and not at an enclosed place
like at concerts?showcases? scream all u want.but at a civilised place
like a mall? where people dun care dun scream.
i tried to overtake some people but then this aunty was like
"hello? i also trying to go down right?"
then im like " yeah look im doing a delivery and really need to get down im really sorry"
but the aunty didnt buge and was like " i also trying to go down"
i was like shit la.
then i overheard the host say something abt stampede and so move back
i almost yelled " dont move back move front!!"
cuz seriously i almost fell up the escalator..
lolz..up yeah..cuz the escalator was coming up instead of down..
if i fell down the escalator i wouldnt mind
cuz at least i reached my destination.
and also will reach faster then that aunty..hmph.
i should have whacked her curry cram already still eat!
so finally i reached the escalator wah i dun care la
i just like practically ran down.and went saying "im really really sorry excuse me excuse damn sorry"
ran to the shop..the shop owner i guess saw me like so tired.
and i was wearing a jacket.she was like "is it raining?"
i replied "yeah raining of fans.." then i asked her whos coming cuz i almost
died up there she was like some famous korean star..
and i thought...korean star at tampines? hmph.
then another store owner came and helped me sign and stuff
say" even if not famous also alot of people wan la"
that totally made my day haha
finally over i went back to the van
and practically slammed the door..damn pissed.
as we drove past tampines mall
like wah lau outside also people..there were people holding umbrellas and waiting 0.0
i was like still haven come
but i overheard some people say "i only took his head"
so i guess those people were mistaken.

i saw like fan boards but was written in korean..
i thought nice how sweet.i cant read korean except for dong bang shin ki.
after a while once i started to calm down i started to think
who it was..i mean..a korean star at tampines is rare.
then i rmbr it was the face shop.then i rmbr people said
the face shop change people..the face of the face shop changed to kim hyun joong
then it all clicked.yes it was kim hyun joong at tampines. i drove it was raining badly..
haha if he still wasnt there at tampines, his fans were going to have to wait for a long time.
wah but i was super pissed he so famous?
i only know him cuz hes jaejoong's friend.never really interested.
but hmm it was a damn tiring taught me never to go for fanmeet
i think i wont even dare to go see gu yong ha la.

other then this incident i had fun going to changi airport for delivery
and i also got praised for being a girl yet help my dad during holidays every year..what can i say? haha i love this job..ok sometimes i hate today.
i think i've been delivering for a very long time i mean the first time i went
to work wif my dad was P3 cuz he couldnt leave me alone at home.
started sending glasses when i was 12 so..thats quite long...
yesterday i even got to work at the office..and earned money!
so impromtu!! just for one day but it was fun
unpacking and checking haha...the people there knows me too.
at stores im that tall guy's daughter..haha.

well i guess thats all for today.
other then almost falling up,i guess it was kinda fun
to be angry at times..i rarely get that angry
but next time when im working
and i ever get into this kind of situation
which i dun think i ever will..
i might um hem. punch someone..and i apologize.
my dad was like asking me..u never stay and see arh
i told not interested in korean stars except for DBSK.
i just listen to their songs cuz english songs are getting boring.
ok then i wrote TOOOO much shall go watch TV now haha

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

well today was a tiring and surprising day haha

i woke up as usual
thinking im gonna be working with my dad
delivering the west side.
but then when i reached the office to collect the goods
it seemed like some were on MC and leave
and hence they needed people last minute
and asked me to help.hence i did.
haha.i mean $7 per hour
its like $2 more then my last 2 jobs!!
gladly accepted it
and i also was interested in it too
plus there wasnt much to deliver today...

well work just consisted of taking out goods,sorting them,past and label,
check if the goods is in its casing,scan,then sort out again.,.thats it..
the whole day,i finished like 2 cartons of them hee..
i kinda felt bad for leaving with half of the box done for box 3....
by the end of the job, i got $42!! like wah
i damn shock la!!

went home happily...haha
took a mrt from redhill got crushed by the people..
like no place to hold..i kinda at times thank myself
for being good in balancing. i had JYJ be my girl remix blasting in my ears haha
i cant get it out my head since the flash mob vid..i did it at home >.<>

i reached lot1 and decided to buy a book. i was debating between
book,itouch cover and polo tees..i
i really needed polo tees, but i bought a book instead.
queued for a very long 15 to 20 minutes?
why people buy skool books at that time?!?! buy during weekends la..
kinda got angry there..
was debating to buy polo tees,but i got too lazy and just walked through the whole mall
to the bus stop..

im thinking of going out on friday haha~~
well im gonna go now
lolz..sleep mayb? kinda tired...tmrw have to wake up at 7.45. :F