days that are hard.

hey~

well im blogging..

though i have nothing much to say

cuz these few days its been kinda ruff

i really just want to get away from it all.

just for one day or two

i want to go to a place away from here

and able to not think of these things.

every since my grandma's health went down

i've been in constant remainder of how it is falling everyday

im the only kid in the house here and in the family

the only kid who understands whats happening

hence all the grown-ups come to me,tell me everything

but i dont want to hear!! i dont want to!!

just a month ago i had to be reminded of death

and soon in a month's time again will i have to be reminded

and i dont want to be. its hard to be understood.

everyday for the past 2 days i had to hide in the toilet or my room

shivering...thinking...it still haunts me to today

the look and coldness i felt.

sigh.i wish someone would just call me

and say theres a trip and if u want to go. somewhr my parents would allow me to go

i need a break.it's only 2 days but its been months since i've been sad.

its a pretty depressing post today

but i felt like i needed to write things out.to feel better

and i am feeling better.though i felt better after eating otah just now.

sigh.results cooming up soon eh.depressed again.

i seriously think i didnt do well.

aish well i should go now. nites