Untittled post.

yo yo yo updating post again haha

sigh hows life? tiring

hows skool? i think im gonna fling it.

i have a feeling tat next year the place i am going to is not poly

sigh kinda giving up already

its tiring...somemore,studying is not my passion

so all the more does it feel like a burden then a joyful day.

this week was tiring, not sure why but yea

im always sleepy cuz i keep sleeping at 12 or 1 am.

yes 12 or 1 am is late for me

not to mention on weds morning da bloody rain woke me up -,-

sigh

i seriously think im totally flinging everything

and am just not gonna get anywhr in life.

sometimes i guess im just useless

taking up space only.

sigh

not to mention these days its just so complicating

how many years already...since then?

i still think about it. when something happens

i feel something. i shall call it jealousy.

and it sucks. i thought i have forgotten

but i have not. i guess i have to continue to hate as i always did.

sigh why cant i for once smile for a week in genuine?

i am just really really troubled and sad

i want to get away

i want to stop studying,being a student,

but once i stop what happens? i dont have a life.

sigh

i feel like the time in N lvls. at least last year i had a goal.go to sec 5. 19 points.

now!? nothing!! i dun noe whr to go,i don't know what to do

i really seriously think i am either gonna retain or end up somewhr i dun want to

seriously why does everyone seem to have it easy?

i tell myself i have to do it, i study, but no matter how i study i still fling it!

its irritating! not enough practice,not enough reading they might say

but im sick of it all!

this week, i managed to walk home twice and cleared my mind

the sky was so blue and beautiful

for that few minutes nothing was on my mind.

i smiled like a mad person walking home under the hot sun

but looking at the sky made me a free person.

by walking home along i felt at peace

i didnt have to think about what would happen, what needs to be done

what my actions will bring.

sigh.

i wish for a better day everyday. a day i would stop hurting, a day i can

overcme my thoughts and fears. a day i can be free.